WORDSnVERBS's Xanga

Verbal Diarrhea

Mon, 15 Jun 2009 19:27:36 GMT

At the end of a long work day, particularly on a Monday, your mind wanders into a dark and dangerous place. And by dark and dangerous place, I mean the bowels of nonsensical idiocy.

This conversation is living proof of such a theory.

Clare: would you eat Apple Crumble Muffins?
me: yeah
me: would you eat the corn in my poop?
Clare: nope
me: then you are not alone
me: I am here with you
me: though you're far away
me: I am here to stay
Clare: you've gone crazy
me: so has the very man whose lyrics I am quoting
Clare: lol
Clare: thomas was just singing this song the other day
Clare: i was dying
me: what song?
Clare: the one you just fucking quoted
me: hahaha sorry, that wasn't very clear
Clare: fuck off that was so clear
me: perhaps next time you should say "that song" instead of "this song"
Clare: it's like RIGHT AFTER the topic
me: because this song implies a song that you haven't mentioned
Clare: perhaps you should eat my ass
me: whereas that song implies the aforementioned song
Clare: eat this ass

My Father's Day

Wed, 27 May 2009 01:22:19 GMT

I think the last thing I ever wanted to do to honour my father on the first anniversary of his passing was to quote the lyrics of a song, and not just any song, but one that is penned by tween-approved Death Cab For Cutie.

But in those final hours with my father on May 26, 2008 in the tiny unit of the ICU, Ben Gibbard's melancholic melody, "What Sarah Said" pervaded my mind's collage of loving memories of my father and I. And that one line in the song's final verse resonated with me, even a year later.

"That love is watching someone die."

I love my father and I've missed him for the past 365 days that he's been gone. There will be songs, movies, locations, foods, and people who will remind me of him on a daily basis. Sometimes these things will make me smile, other times, I need to turn away before my eyes begin to water.

But regardless of their effect, I am eternally grateful for those little reminders to ensure that I never forget him or the 29 years I was blessed to have with him.

My Music Collection, R.I.P. (March 2008 - April 2009)

Wed, 08 Apr 2009 20:32:40 GMT

Today I had a lesson in humility... or technology. While attempting to upload an album onto my iPod, I inadvertently erased all 80GB of my precious mp3 device by accidentally removing the USB cord during the upload.

Fortunately, I have maybe 30GB of this backed up, but I will have to download most of these albums again.

As I mourn for my lost loved ones -- the entire discographies of The Smiths, Belle and Sebastian, The Magnetic Fields, and Chingy -- I will bravely attempt to rebuild my music collection, almost entirely from scratch.

Clare says:
are you ok?
Justin says:
devastated
Clare says:
man that really sucks
Clare says:
maybe i'll give you all my music
Justin says:
yes can you
Clare says:
yup
Justin says:
thank you clare
Justin says:
so many wasted hours and days and weeks
Justin says:
i wasted so many hours converting youtube clips into mp3s
Justin says:
so many hours scouring blogs to find mp3s of rare b-sides and live recordings
Justin says:
i gave this fucking bitch so much
Justin says:
and this is how she repays me?
Justin says:
i did everything for her!
Justin says:
i guess she was on her final straw
Justin says:
in the end, it was all my fault
Clare says:
you pushed her to the edge
Justin says:
maybe i never loved her from the start
Justin says:
maybe i need to take a break from her to realize she how much i took her for granted
Justin says:
her sweet melodic whispers in my ear
Justin says:
her gentle consoling whenever i was down
Justin says:
her constant reassurance at the end of the day that everything would be okay
Justin says:
you have made me realize my wrongs, clare
Justin says:
it was always me me me
Justin says:
and not her and I as one harmonious unit
Justin says:
and i let her love and sheer grace slip through the cracks of my music-saturated hands
Justin says:
i am a monster
Justin says:
i can't even look at another ipod anymore
Justin says:
i am no good
Justin says:
please clare, teach me to love again
Justin says:
help me find an ipod that will allow me to be a selfless, nurturing owner
Justin says:
and cultivate a relationship that is honest and true
Justin says:
will you do that for me clare?
Clare says:
please stop

All You Ever Need to Know About YouTube

Sat, 04 Apr 2009 15:42:08 GMT

Years from now, when technology has moved beyond YouTube, the new generation might ask us what made it so great. Sure, you could show them the thousands of clips where animals piss/fart/eat their own feces clips, the infamous two chicks one cup nightmare, or some viral celebrity asshole like Tay Zonday (Chocolate Rain).

Or, you can just show them these two clips, one after the other:

Battle at Kruger
Solid Potato Salad

Be patient, you will be rewarded.

Threadless vs. Dreamworks

Tue, 31 Mar 2009 02:20:50 GMT

I just got back from a certain Dreamworks 3D movie and when the B.O.B. character (voiced by Seth Rogen) first showed up, I couldn't help but feel like I had seen it before. Oh that's right, he looks nearly identical to the design of a Threadless shirt I own.

I guess "Cyclope was able to use those 3D glasses after all. Hmmm, maybe Threadless and the designer of this shirt should look into a possible lawsuit...

Being Patrick Swayze

Fri, 20 Mar 2009 14:50:35 GMT

I was going to take a silk-screening class at this studio, Halo Halo, which offers instructional classes on Saturdays. But with my luck, they would never respond to my emails or phone calls, and just today, I received a reply from the studio, a week after I had sent the initial email, informing me they had canceled the classes indefinitely due to lack of enrollment.

Justin: man, halo halo is the worst
Justin: they just emailed me about the cancellation of tomorrow's class
Justin: they had to cancel the whole thing because no one was registering, but they said if i really wanted to, they could set up a one on one lesson
Justin: but that could be pretty awkward
Clare: lolol
Clare: just like that movie Ghost
Clare: hahhhahhah
Clare: im dying
Clare: hahhahha
Justin: you've just changed my mind
Justin: the fact that i get to be patrick swayze in the body of whoopi?
Justin: it's been my dream ever since i was a little boy

Hug A Korean Day

Thu, 05 Feb 2009 22:23:40 GMT

So apparently, tomorrow (Feb 6) is International Hug a Korean Day.

I'm pretty sure this was concocted by all the lonely, desperate Korean males as some last-ditch, passive-aggressive way to get some ass from anyone who is willing to dish it out.

And of course, this kind of thing will surely backfire and will result in a bunch of lonely, desperate Korean males hugging each other.

Well, godspeed, my fellow Korean "bras".

Justin says:
so apparently someone invented some stupid shit called Hug a Korean day, and it's tomorrow
Justin says:
and it's going on in all major cities around the US
Clare says:
ok listen
Clare says:
i know you like hugs
Justin says:
hahahaah
Clare says:
but that's just crossing the line
Justin says:
i know this sounds like some shit that i just made up but i just came across this now
Justin says:
it's really ridiculous
Justin says:
and clare, don't flatter yourself
Justin says:
if i wanted a hug i would ask my gay roommate
Clare says:
lol
Justin says:
and the hug would obviously turn into a dry hump
Justin says:
if that makes me a homosexual, then heellllloooooooooooooo

Drop Bows On 'EM!

Tue, 20 Jan 2009 19:17:31 GMT

Watching the inaugural speech footage gave me a new-found sense of optimism for the direction of our American neighbours, but more more importantly, it gave me the idea for my Halloween costume this year: Aretha Franklin performing at said inaugural speech.

Her giant grey bow hat is the kind of architectural wonder that even Frank Gehry couldn't pull off.

By wearing this hat, the Queen of Soul was making a very specific statement: I am big, beautiful and black, and this fucking bow that rests on top of my head is my gift to you. Cherish it.

Hate Chat

Mon, 19 Jan 2009 19:46:22 GMT

Call it the after-effects of a lull in the work day, or just a sudden inspiration of all-encompassing hate, but sometimes I feel compelled to annoy my friends online. Nine times out of 10, Clare is the victim of said annoyance, and she takes it like a champ. Sometimes.

Justin says:
what are you making for the potluck
Clare says:
spinach and sundried tomato pinwheels
Clare says:
you?
Justin says:
i don't know whether that's food or some kind of science
Justin says:
like are they supposed to be aerodynammic?
Clare says:
you're gay.
Justin says:
i'm not the one making sundried, spinach ferris wheels
Clare says:
u go away
Justin says:
sure, i can go away, but only temporarily. i'm like herpes, clare; you can mask my presence for a minute, but i'll just come back a couple of days later, stronger than ever
Clare says:
i hate all your jokes today
Justin says:
i hate that some sperm decided to create you 28 years ago
Clare says:
wow
Justin says:
too much?
Justin says:
not enough?
Justin says:
clare, let's just listen to some brian mcknight and let his gentle crooning heal our wounds
Clare says:
ugh
Clare says:
stop talking
Justin says:
montel jordan?
Clare says:
stop making jokes
Justin says:
that slim guy from 112?
Clare says:
i swear if you were here right now
Clare says:
i would punch you
Justin says:
you can punch me all you want, but I'll still continue talking
Justin says:
you will not silence me, oh violent beast

500 Days of Zooey

Sat, 17 Jan 2009 21:36:23 GMT

Fox Searchlight finally released the trailer for 500 Days of Summer, which might be one of my most anticipated films of 2009, next to Spike Jonze's film adaptation of Where the Wild Things Are.

I think this will be the vehicle that finally thrusts Zooey (oh grow up!) into the limelight, and will, once and for all, put an end to all the "is that Katy Perry?" confusion.

A great trailer, particularly with The Temper Trap's "Sweet Disposition" running in the background. Try to tune out the horrible voiceover if you can.